Growing from Conflict
If the congregations in the Diocese of Georgia are typical, 20% of them (or 14 churches) would be in conflict at any given time. The Faith Communities Today (FACT) Survey in 2000 found that 75% of the 14,301 churches surveyed had experienced some level of conflict in the previous five years. 
Key sources of conflict in the survey were: agreeing on and keeping to accepted behavior norms (44%), money, its use and abuse (42%), worship style (41%), leadership style (40%), and decision making (39%). These total more than 100% as many churches had faced conflict on more than one issue in the previous five years. A Christianity Today survey in 2004 found the main sources of conflict to be control issues (85%), vision/direction of the church (64%), leadership changes (43%), and style of the pastor (39%).
The FACT survey described the effects citing that in 69% of these cases, members left the church and in 39% they withheld money. Church conflict also resulted in the pastor leaving 25% of the time.
Conflict can be helpful
Conflict is inevitable as, this side of heaven, it is unlikely that we will all agree all of the time. The disagreements can be meaningful when faith is involved and so can become heated. Because of this, a natural response it to avoid conflict. Yet, as a congregation will have to adapt to the changing conditions in its community or the life of a church from time to time, avoiding conflict could mean avoiding healthy change. Therefore, conflict is not always to be avoided as dealing well with disagreements can be productive for a congregation. It can also be helpful for the members of the church to experience going through conflict in healthy ways.
Ways to introduce change
Large changes with little input, such as radical changes to the liturgy and music, will get an equal and opposite reaction in larger and more heated conflict. Conversely, more modest changes with more teaching and input from all involved, will face less resistance and so create less damaging conflict.
Imagine these two scenarios:
- The vicar gets excited about new music, buys all new hymnals, drops them in the pews and changes all the music sung by the congregation.
- The vicar gets excited about new forms of church music and tells about this in newsletter articles, discovers a group interested and creates a monthly Sunday evening service with the new style of hymnody.
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The first path leads to weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. The second path may enhance the worship life of the church in a meaningful way.
As self-evident as this is, many make changes without first talking with and then really listening to those deeply affected. The disagreement may be avoidable, but the level of conflict that follows is unnecessary. Making changes with a process that both encourages input and adapts based on that input is healthier.
Conflict management rather than resolution
As conflict is expected and can be ongoing, it is something we manage rather resolve. When conflict is managed openly and honestly, and all involved are encouraged to participate in a process toward working on the sources of conflict (which may be different than the presenting argument), a good outcome is much more likely. Dealing with issues secretly and making decisions without input from those most impacted by decisions is a recipe for unhealthy and damaging conflict.
More to follow
In the next two columns I will write more about conflict in churches including warning signs and steps to take so that what follows is more creative than destructive. In the meantime, those who want to learn more than I can possibly share in this space have two great resources. The first is the Conflict Management Workshop the Diocese of Georgia now offers each January at Honey Creek. Email me for information on that week-long training. Secondly, Rabbi Edwin Friedman’s Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue is a wise book whose insights into congregational systems make it the classic work on this issue. It is not a quick read, but Feidman’s book is well worth the effort.
The Rev. Canon Frank Logue
Canon to the Ordinary
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