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A Reflection for Clergy in Pandemic

2020 April 23
by Diocesan Staff

“If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, more knowledge, better health and fitness, you never lacked time. You lacked the discipline.”

Variations on this statement are ubiquitous on Twitter and I think they reflect a sentiment being expressed in other ways for those of you blessed to not be on that social networking site. The idea is that if we are not using time sheltering in place to learn Spanish, write the great American novel, and best Julia Child in mastering French Cuisine, we have somehow failed to make the grade. This way of looking at our use of time is contrary to a Gospel suggesting that we are somehow not enough if we are not improving ourselves in amazing ways during this pandemic. It also ignores how dang difficult it is to just do all we already need to get done while we experience the collective trauma of a global pandemic.

I know from talking to many of you that we all have full plates. For some, this includes working at home alongside kids now schooling at home. For others, this means trying to figure out how to take liturgies online. For yet others, it means lots more phone calls and note writing to stay in contact with parishioners. For all of us it means the joy and frustration of Zoom meetings that let us see one another but lack the richness of a face-to-face gathering.

We are going through all of this robbed of using our best skills which we developed for in-person Christian community, pastoral care, and the liturgies of the church. Not to mention how easily we can fall into the trap of seeing what someone else is doing and wondering if we are falling short. That kind of weird message looping around is not from God.

On Monday morning, I was fully whelmed. By exact count, I had 15 new issues to deal with via text, phone, and email between 8 a.m. and noon. Most were concerns and needs that would have been trivial on a good day, with a couple of issues that would have been a bear on any day. I found myself on the verge of tears in a conversation with a colleague that wouldn’t usually warrant crying.

I pushed ahead through my day, making progress on my full plate including finishing getting a first draft of the guidelines for returning to in-person worship out for initial feedback. Then as I wanted to tune out for the evening, our dear Governor issued a less than helpful public order and the work I had begun took on an urgency I did not anticipate. I don’t say this to elicit your sympathy. I say this to offer mine. The flow of your week has been different, but we are all coping with a variety of stressors with which we have little experience in dealing.

I just want to say that I am not okay and that’s okay.
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God loves you and me fully and completely. Your colleagues gathered here care for you and want to support you. None of us has all the answers and we are going to be fine.

There is that great passage in Second Corinthians in which Paul tells of a thorn in his flesh he wants to leave and instead hears from God, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” He goes on to write, “whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

So rather than trying to prove how strong I am, I am opting to admit that this virus shows that I am weak and need to rely on God. And I am okay with that.

Jesus loves me—this I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to him belong,—
They are weak, but he is strong.

We can be so very weak, and that’s okay, because any real strength we have comes from leaning on the everlasting arms. Amen.

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